Over the past year I stepped away from social media. I was still there, but minimally. While I was gone, crazy rumors about myself got back to me. I’ll be honest. I thought they were funny and let rumors continue. I guess they eventually died down. I wasn’t following. My priorities weren’t on people who didn’t know or care about me enough to just ask what was up. Anywhooo, here is my 2015 year end review.
Without a doubt, 2015 was the hardest year of my life. Granted, for the most part I’ve had a good life, but that doesn’t negate that I’ve had pretty rough times also, but I digress. Back to 2015 in which I entered knowing my father most likely wouldn’t make it to 2016. As if having prostate cancer wasn’t enough, stomach and liver cancer also decided to attack him. I watched my hero die slowly. Yeah, it’s been a rough year.
My first memories go back to when I was somewhere between two and three. I can tell each member of my immediate family my first memories of them from that time, but my very first memory ever is of my dad. I’m a Daddy’s girl. Always have been.
Back to my first memory ever. I was in my parents’ bedroom and Daddy was standing by the dresser wearing a white T-shirt and yellow boxers (Mama hates that I repeat that part). Anywhooo, I remember looking up and thinking he was a giant. He looked down at me, then picked me up. I used to love it when he’d pick me up. My whole life the memory of being held on that day has always been a comfort to me. My hero passed away Dec. 8, 2015.
I’m blessed and thankful that I was able to go home to Illinois and spend most of 2015 with my parents and sister making new memories before my dad took too ill. I’m grateful that in the end, we were able to be there for him and he knew how much he was loved. I’m grateful, I got to know my aunts Kathy, Pamela and Ollie. Don’t get me wrong. I knew who they were when I was a kid, but getting to know them adult to adult for the beautiful women they are inside and out was a treat. My Uncle Freddie, Daddy’s baby brother, was a hoot all summer. Him and daddy would sit out in the garage to rest from doing so much “work” outside. Then there’s my Uncle Lonnie who made Daddy’s spring by bringing him the first catch of croppy, meeting us in Kentucky and taking a trip back down to Kentucky where my Dad would come to life again. And the family that came by while Daddy could enjoy their company and they could enjoy his was amazing. That was something about Daddy. He didn’t believe in waiting until someone was on their death bed to visit.
When I was a kid, we’d go to reunions just about every year. Some out of town some in town. We had a huge, close family, but over the years, we’ve all grown apart. After my parents’ 50th anniversary party, my dad decided he wanted to have a family reunion. He was given his terminal diagnosis a few months later, but still wanted the reunion to go on and the family to get back together, even though the doctors didn’t think he’d still be around to attend. We rallied the family and had a fabulous turn out. I love my family. It was so good reconnecting with everyone again. And Daddy was at the reunion. He beat the odds for such a long time. Here’s the Hodges Family album video that came out nicely if I do say so myself.
Being in Illinois with my parents meant I was away from my babies, hubby and puppies back in Arizona. I’ve never been away from them so long and I missed them. I’m grateful my family was the type to say, “We’ll miss you but you belong in Illinois.” To help keep my spirits up, my oldest daughter sent my grandson to stay over the summer with us. We had a great summer. My grandson got to spend a lot of quality/fun time with Daddy that my grandson’s younger siblings will never have. While my grandson was with me, he had to have an emergency appendectomy. At that time he was supposed to be on the road from a trip to Disney World in Florida, but that fell through. Thank God for making him miss that trip. Had his appendix ruptured on the trip, we may not have him here today.
For a few weeks over the summer, I was at the hospital each Saturday. First my grandson’s emergency operation, then the very next week, my sister went in from a stroke. Then the following weekend my grandson’s recovery had a setback. It was a mess. Those of you know me also know how close I am to my sissy. So there I was with my father dying, my grandson recovering from an appendicitis operation and my sister in the hospital. Oh, and I could see the strain of my mother taking care of everyone was wearing on her. Taking care of my mother is virtually impossible because she doesn’t let others take care of her. Anywhoooo… my grandson is back a hundred percent and we were blessed again with my sister’s recovery. She’s not 100%, but she’s doing much better. So though we could have all done without the stroke, I’m grateful it wasn’t more severe, yet severe enough for her to make serious changes in her lifestyle. This stroke may have saved my sissy’s life. For that I am grateful.
2015 has been hard on my health. Before I left Arizona for Illinois, there were days my pain was so bad that I couldn’t walk. To make a long story short, I’m raggedy. Everyone knows it. My thyroid is out of whack. My back is jacked up. Menopause sucks and is kicking my butt. Between my mobility issues, thyroid and not being able to cook in the house (the smell of food made Daddy sick) I’ve gained a bunch of weight, and so much more, but it’s okay. Between the neurologist, endocrinologist, OBGYN and physical therapist, I’ll be spending much of 2016 under the care of doctors and therapist. I’m blessed with great insurance. I was also blessed that while in Illinois, I was mobile enough to get my Dad down to Kentucky twice and enjoy hanging out with my sissy and play with my grandson. I was well enough that I was able to keep just how jacked up I was from my mom who would have wanted to take care of me also. I am thankful for my not as bad health in 2015.
Mind you, I was away from home, thus work for most of the year. I’m still currently in Illinois. I worked from Illinois while my job is in Arizona. I’ve been blessed to have such great support from my boss and coworkers. Yes, I still got my assignments done and I’d say I grew a lot as an employee this year also. Anywhooo, my job could have made things hard on me. They could have said, “No, you can’t go home.” Or could have cut my time short. This did not happen. So I’m grateful.
All in all, 2015 was the hardest year of my life, but I’m not complaining. I have been blessed and am looking forward to taking on 2016. After the year I’ve had, I know I can make it through anything life has to offer.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Deatri King-Bey
Wow, what a year! I can so relate to how you felt about your father, because I felt the same way about mine. He also died from cancer years ago. My baby brother suddenly passed in June, and that was a shock I’m still dealing with, but it gets better with every month that passes. This will surely sound patronizing, but the pain will ease, and the good memories will push the hurt into the background. You and I were blessed to have men like that in our lives.
Like you, I am also dealing with some health issues, and I’m determined to do everything I can to overcome them. This year is going to be better, girl!
I’m so sorry about your brother. You and yours are in my prayer.
You are right. Next year is going to be kick butt for both of us!
Dee
Wow! What a year. Through it all the Lord is still blessing you. I pray that 2016 brings healing to your body and spirit. ………Happy New Year
Thank you and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Dee thanks for sharing. I missed the rumors girl.
So happy you were able to spend time with your father and family. Sweet memories that will help you during your sad days.
Glad your sister and grandson are doing better.
2016 has better times. As my mother use to say just keep on living.
Happy New Year my friend and thank you so much for sending Paulette into my life. She has been such a blessing.
Paulette is THE BEST! I love her so much it’s crazy. I had to send her your way. Keep it going,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Deatri,
First let me express my sincerest condolences on the passing of your father. Your year was set up to be where God wanted you to be. In your sacrifice, you’ve suffered but HE will make a way. Find time to grieve and then work on you. Social media (some of us) generally care and for those that didn’t notice…you already know not to worry about such people. I wish you a bright 2016 and soul healing going forward.
Thanks Loretta. All the best and happy new year.
Jesus, what a year. I’m sorry for your loss and the things your family has gone through. Hope this year carries more blessings.
It’s all good Ey,
Happy New Year!
Deatri, you have been missed. I knew about your Dad’s illness from a post you did months ago. I am so sorry for your loss and I am praying for you and your family. My Dad died when I was very young, but I remember the pain of his loss. We are glad to have you back with us. Wishing you health, happiness, and peace in 2016.
All the best for you and yours. Happy New Year Raynetta!
Deatri, you’ve been in my thoughts and prayers. 2015 was a year of change it seems. Hoping 2016 will be better for us all. Sending you a cyber hug 🙂
(((HUGS))) Love you Shelia and Happy New Year!
Dee, honey, I admire your strength and I am so sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your family in prayer.
Thank You Cheris and Happy New Year. (((HUGS)))
Deatri,
My condolences to you and your family. Hoping your health has vast improvements in the coming months. I will keep you in my prayers.
Rhea Alexis
Thank you Rhea. Happy New Year
You have certainly had more than your fair share of trials and tribulations this year. I’m so glad you were able to spend time with your dad before he passed. I’m sure 2016 will be better. Maybe you can get your Mom to cooperate and let you guys take care of her a bit. What was hard for you was undoubtedly much harder on her. xoxo
I’m trying to convince her to visit me for a few months. It’s not too cold up here (illinois) yet. Maybe once the snow hits she’s hop a flight to AZ.
Here’s praying.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Dee,
I know how close you are to your family, and especially your DAD. I’m so sorry he had to go through so much, but I’m happy that he was able to make so many more happy memories for the entire family. And knowing you, you made those trips to Kentucky in spite of the pain you were in. Glad your grandson is doing better and your sister. Take care or yourself.
It seems that 2015 was pretty wicked to a lot of us. I’m proclaiming a much better 2016 for All.
Happy New Year.
.
Happy New Year. (((HUGS)))
2015 was a rough year for you. Praise God for the blessings. Glad to see you back and I pray 2016 brings some joy.
Happy New Year (((HUGS)))
God Bless you have my deepest sympathy on the passing of your dad I too was a daddy’s girl & he passed in 87 from cancer. I am glad to see 2015 move on as I watch my brother leave this earth in November from cancer I was his caregiver always going to dr’s appointments & caring for him. But we serve an awesome God & thru faith I can smile I miss my brother because he & my dad really understood me, I come from a big family but those 2 really got me. I just want you to hang in there & just breathe take time for yourself I had to learn that, wishing you nothing but blessings & a wonderful 2016.
Thank you Carlotta,
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother and father. You and yours are in my prayers.
Dee